Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #25

Thirteen Things about Valtool

Thirteen Funny Quotations...

1. "Life is like a dogsled team, If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes" - Lewis Grizzard

2. "After three divorces I resolve to never get married again. I will simply find a woman I hate and buy her a house." - Lewis Grizzard

3. "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush." It is enough to make one ashamed of one's species." - Mark Twain

4. "If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband, you might be a redneck." - Jeff Foxworthy

5. "God, she's growing up, and I don't know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths. I picked up a pair of skimpy underwear. I looked at my wife and said: "When you gonna wear these for me?" She goes, "I can't. They're your daughter's." "Aaaaaaahhhhhh! No, No, No!" There was nothing to them! The how-to-wash tag was the biggest piece of cloth on there." - Bill Engvall

6. "I had a rough night. I had a dream that I drank the world's biggest margarita, and I woke up - there was salt around the toilet bowl. That's not good right there." - Larry the Cable Guy.

7. " Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver." - Robert Paul

8. "Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors." - Walter Winchell

9. "All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER." - Dennis Leary

10. "Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source." - Ron Nesen

11. "Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." - Abraham Lincoln

12. "A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error." - Dennis Miller

13. "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" - unknown



Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



16 comments:

Starrlight said...

Dennis Leary also gave us "coffee flavored coffee" in his rant on flavored foo foo coffee drinks. I SO get what he means!

Shannon said...

The Larry the Cableguy quote cracked me up!! That is so wrong! :) Loved your list, have a great week!

Damozel said...

I second that; those were some funny quotes!

samulli said...

You're right, they really are funny. Loved #2 and #5 and #7 - ah well, basically all of them, but some more than others. LOL

Melanie said...

Those are some good ones! I have to say I laughed hardest at the last one though! :) Happy TT!

Suprina said...

Those are som great funny quotes.

Happy TT!

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

#5...we're there with our daughter!

Karen said...

These are too funny, I had a list ready, then read Jeff's post about the AJC and I was laughing out loud, so I "borrowed" 13 of those:-)

~~R~~ said...

lol I love Jeff Foxworthy & the Guys from the blue Collar comedy tour great list happy TT

FRIGGA said...

Ha, #8's my fav - it reminds me of winter in the desert - "Why do they call it tourist season if you can't shoot 'em?"

J. Lynne said...

Some amusing quotes! I copied a few down for my quote of the day feature on my blog.

Happy TT!

Mike Thomas said...

Excellent quotes my man!!!!

Cyndi said...

very funny.

Jose said...

Very cool quotes, I had fun reading them.

Natalie said...

Those are so funny!

Jeff said...

No. 10 is pure gold. You should submit that as a Vent.