Appetizer - On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?
Somewhere around 6, depending on my mood and the people I am being forced to interact with.
Soup - What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
A few minutes ago I had gone downstairs. My wife thought I was still in bed so when she came down and rounded the corner, it startled her and I laughed out loud.
Salad - Who is your favorite cartoon character?
Neat question considering I was in the presence of so many of them just yesterday (Thursday Thirteen post on Six Flags). I have to say Bugs Bunny.
Main Course - Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.
Mr. George D. Bagwell. He was the computer teacher at my high school back in the day when BASIC and PASCAL were our languages on Apple II, Apple IIe, and Apple II+ machines. His middle initial actually stood for Dilmus, and we were all allowed to call him "Dilly." He was famous for telling and making puns, so I loved him. Last I heard he was in charge of all computer education in Gwinnett County, GA in metro-Atlanta.
Dessert - Complete this sentence: I strongly believe in the soul, the c__k, the p__y, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. (okay, this is taken from Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, but it is the best "What I Believe" I have ever heard, the delivery was perfect)