Okay, here it is, the 500th post.
Having spent some time thinking about something my brother told me once, I have to agree there is truth to his comment, that the whole proliferation of blogging is simply a way for the average person to boost their ego and hope that others will for whatever reason be drawn to read about and comment (the true ego boost) on what the author has written.
I have accomplished nothing here other than meeting a small handful of people who have become online friends, and for you, I encourage you to write me directly at my email address, email@example.com.
The expression of opinions and feelings publicly is a source of continued misery it seems. When I express my opinions, I find myself being labeled with names I do not appreciate. When I express my personal feelings, I find myself in the whirlpool that I wish I could escape. The world is not about me, and I am the cause of my own destiny. My words and my actions (or lack of words or actions) perpetuate a cycle in which I am unhappy, and I either get told that I am over-reacting or taking things too personally. Today the continuation is that even people I consider friends and loved ones are telling me I am to blame (see the 100% agreement that Carnegie is my savior).
I am almost 37 years old. I am not going to change who I am. I am too far gone. I am not looking for pity or consolation. I simply want you all to stop telling me to change because I honestly believe that I can not. Who I am is a result of my upbringing, the influence of those who raised me (and now participate in blaming me for my own situation, thanks a lot Dad).
So go read my wife's blog. She's widely accepted as a happy and positive person (except when she comes home and talks about how people at work make her miserable). Perhaps things might change in 5-7 years when or if we get to adopt our daughter. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime, have a nice life.
Postscript - those of you who read this and take offense, please do not hold it against my wife. She is concerned that my disfunction will cause her to lose friends, and that is not my desire, especially since I would be held accountable. If you are offended, blame me and reciprocate against me please.