I am finally beginning to understand why my father has always been against watching awards shows like the Grammys, the Emmys, and the Oscars. For him it's been rooted in not caring about a bunch of egomaniacal celebs celebrating themselves in the largest fashion possible.
With the Academy Awards I get bored because I've never seen 95% of the movies that get nominated, and there's no way to predict how any particular category will go.
With the Emmys it's similar, but just too many categories not to care about, like "Best supporting actress in a made for TV movie that was on a pay channel I don't get and about subject matter no one cares about but was an excuse to find and cast the actor who played the kid who appeared in one episode of a sit-com thirty years ago and has not been seen or heard from since."
Then there are the Grammys. Oh the Grammys, at least with the music award shows you can hope to see some unique performances especially considering that people like Bon Jovi are touring now and charging 4 times what you paid to see them 19 years ago, and you know the show won't be nearly as good considering they are now all approaching 50 years old.
So we watched the show last night. With the writers' strike there was really nothing else on, and here are my awards based on the awards show.
Biggest ego who needs to realize the world does NOT revolve around him/her goes to...... Kanye West. You polarized yourself 2 and a half years ago with your "George Bush hates black people" nonsense during the Hurricane Katrina benefit show. Last night they gave him the stage to accept an award and he disrespected every other artist by blatantly passing his alloted time on the microphone saying, "You aren't really turning the music on on me." He then went into an extended tribute to his late mother, during which he called the shows' producers disrespectful for continuing to play music over him. At this point I would have turned off his microphone. The media made a big deal about his mother's death .
Best "Why is this guy on the show and what is he on moment" goes to Jason Bateman. I imagine no one else wanted the task of hosting the "My Grammy Moment" segment, but really? You couldn't find anyone else more relevant or interesting? Pepper needs new shorts! (reference to Bateman as he was funny in the movie Dodgeball)
Best Surprise Performance goes to Jimmy Jam reuniting with Morris Day and the Time to perform "Jungle Love" smashed up with Rhianna. The only thing missing was Kevin Smith up there dancing with them.
Best Wow Performance goes to Beyonce with Tina Turner. We know Beyonce can shake it, but at 68 years old, Tina still has it. She could be an exception to the older performer bias I eluded to with Bon Jovi. After seeing this performance my thought was that some osteo-related OTC product has GOT to sign her to an endorsement deal. Take our supplement and you too can move like Tina!
Best "Lord is this person annoying performance" goes to Amy Winehouse. The drama off the stage in her life has for some reason captivated the entertainment news world. She's a drugged-out tattooed mess who could be pretty and has a decent voice, but we'd rather focus on her jailed hooligan of a mate and her need to be in rehab despite the irony of her hit single saying she does not want to go. Her acceptance speech was as criptic as the old British guy cursing on the bus to France in the movie Eurotrip.
Best "That was cool" Performance goes to the Cirque du Soliel cast members from the show "Love" performing their segment on the Beatles "A Day in Life" followed by the gospel version of Let it Be taken from the movie featuring Beatles music this past year.
Best Swerve of the night goes to Herbie Hancock. An upset is when a favored individual is beaten by an underdog. A swerve is a term borrowed from the scripted world of professional wrestling. When a swerve occurs, an individual who is expected to win does not win, and he/she is NOT told that it is going to happen that way. The m0st famous swerve in wrestling is known as the Montreal Screw Job which took place at the Survivor Series in 1997 or '98 I think. Then champion Bret Hart was leaving the company to go work for a competitor and refused to give up the title, and they expected he would carry it with him to the rival operation and desecrate it. To prevent that from happening, management said "Fine, you can keep the title til you leave," but they set it up for Shawn Michaels to beat Hart by a very quick count by the referee and then get Michaels out of the arena and out of the country because Hart was Canadian and was loved by his fans.
So last night the Grammy board NARAS (National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences) may have orchestrated a swerve by giving the album of the year award not to Amy "The Heroin Addict" Winehouse or to Kanye "The World revolves around me" West, or even to Vince "Why was I even nominated in this category" Gill. They gave it to Herbie Hancock, the jazz legend who gave us "Rock-it" back in the 1980's. I would LOVE to hear that West was going to receive that award, but that the producers changed the name after his podium antics involving his mother.