Questions from my workplace

In the spirit of Bill Engvall's "Here's Your Sign" routines, I feel I should tell you all about some of the questions I have faced while working in the food and retail industries.

From my days at Family Christian Stores:

Do you have the 1609AD King James on tape? (Thou shouldst looketh elsewhereth).

Do you have a copy of the Quran? (at the CHRISTIAN bookstore)

From working at Chick-fil-a:

Where are your Market Fresh Sandwiches? (they would be at Arby's, at the next intersection north of us)

What's the difference between a 3 piece and 4 piece order of chick-n-minis? (she was refering to the price, but the question as asked had us thinking, um, one?)

How big is your buritto? (asked of a guy with a dirty mind, the actual answer was "Ma'am, it's about 6 inches long, an inch and a half in diameter and is filled with your choice of meat).

Can I get a diet tea?

and it's relative

Can I get an unsweetened tea with no sugar in it?

Can I get a sausage ina biscuit? (apparently a southern thing where they want to say they want a sausage biscuit, but have to add the word ina)

Can I get a 6-piece order of McNuggets? (sure, at McDonald's)

Can I get a number 5 combo? (our response, would you like the 8-piece or 12-piece order of nuggets?) Their response - 10.

Do you have some kind of chicken sandwich? - (I honestly thought he was putting me on. I asked him if that was the case and we eventually determined he had intended to include the word "salad" between chicken and sandwich.)

The other day we had this one...

I'd like a number 1 combo with a coke and a slice of key lime pie. (the important thing here is we do not now and never have sold key lime pie, I mean, I'd like a slice of key lime pie too, but I know I have to go to Publix for that).